Dethtwins
by LambchopMagee
Summary: Maggie Explosion and her four friendly fiends get tossed into the life of Dethklok, which is led by none other than her twin brother. Will the girls be able to handle the boys? And vice verse? NO FREAKIN YAOI.
1. The Girls

**Hello, hello. I've recently been totally brain-washed by none other than Dethklok, so therefore I am going to start a fic. **

**I do not post new chapters often, and even less now, because I'm nearing the end of my senior year and am usually busy with school or friends. Also, I recently had a death in the family, so most of me wants to curl up on my bed and stare at the wall for hours.**

**BUT RIGHT NOW I'M NOT DOING THAT, AM I?**

**This is a fic that has a girl for each member of Dethklok. The main character is Maggie, and you'll see who she ends up with later. You can try to figure out who goes with who. :D**

**Enjoy.**

**Dethklok and other characters of Metalocalypse belong to Brendon Small and Tommy Blacha. **

**Maggie, Lucy, Lola, Orchid, and Angelica belong to me.**

* * *

Margaret Explosion sighed as she looked at the newspaper article. The article in question was about none other than Dethklok. The lead singer of Dethklok, the greatest cultural force in the world, also the most destructive, was her twin brother. Nathan Explosion.

It was difficult for most people to realize the two weren't identical twins. Nathan was a 6' giant with long slick black hair and sea green eyes. Maggie was an averagely built girl of 5'3 with dark brown shaggy hair (with dyed caramel-colored sections underneath) and hazel eyes. They looked almost nothing alike, although you could tell they were related.

She giggled as she read more into the article, learning about the tragedy that was the release of their Coffee Jingle. The ironic thing was that she was drinking Duncan Hills coffee at that moment.

"OW! Mother fucker!" Maggie pulled away sharply from the source of the pain, her temporary hairdresser. When I say temporary, I mean that this hairdresser only gets a hold of Maggie's noggin during photo shoots and other modeling gigs. Usually, Maggie does her own hair, but her manager won't allow it for such events.

"Sorry, sweetie, the iron slipped," Enrique apologized half-sweetly and half-sarcastically. Maggie glared at the homosexual Latino-American through the mirror and huffed angrily.

"Did it on purpose…" she whispered quietly. At that, Enrique pulled roughly on a small section of her hair. "What the fuck, man! Can you not finish my hair without mortally wounding me first? Christ."

"Nope," Enrique smiled viciously.

"Enrique, stop torturing her." _Thank Zeus, that fucker finally decided to show. _Maggie's manager and slight father-figure was walking towards them, and Enrique's face fell.

"Puta de mierda que se merece, ella es sólo famosa por su gigantede un hermano." At this comment, Maggie jumped out of her chair and swirled around so quickly the chair she had been sitting in spun wildly.

"Wanna fuckin' repeat that?" She started to raise her fist at the terrified man but her manager, Mr. Jensen, stopped her.

"Maggie, go finish your own hair and make sure you're proper for the shoot." Maggie started to protest, but the look in his eye made her shiver, and she almost ran for her dressing room. "Now, Enrique. If you value your life, and your job, usted no va a insultarla de nuevo, no importa qué. Ella es nuestro cliente más preciado. Si la perdemos, perdemos miles de dólares, que vendrán directamente de su cheque de pago. Understand?" Enrique nodded quickly and began apologizing shakily in Spanish.

"Good."

* * *

Maggie sighed as she shut the door to her dressing room and leaned back onto the door, shutting her eyes.

"Why did I become a fucking model?"

"Because people want to bang you," Maggie heard her friend Angelica's voice come from the other side of the room.

Maggie opened her eyes and let them trail over to Angelica without moving her head. "Hey, Ange."

Angelica was a petite girl of 5'1. Her long brown hair was parted at the far side, where her long bangs started as they swooped across her forehead. As usual, she was dressed in a black band tee and a pair of torn skinny jeans, her black thick-framed glasses crooked and her black and purple Osiris shoes worn to the sole.

Angelica smiled as she took another swig of Maggie's favorite whiskey and tossed the open bottle over to her. Maggie caught the bottle with little difficulty and took a huge swig as she waltzed over to her mirror.

"Time to get pretty for the dumb masses."

"Who's a dumbass?" came Orchid's voice from the bathroom. Maggie rolled her eyes and laughed, "You are, fuckhead."

Orchid had a slightly rounder build, but proportioned in a way that was quite attractive. Her dyed gray hair was always a mess, and her gray eyes always hid behind her Buddy Holly-like glasses. Maggie guessed she's dressed in her usual attire of a cardigan over a black band tee, skinny jeans of any sort, and worn out TOMS. "Is it just you two here, or is the whole gang using my facilities and consuming my beverages whilst I'm away?"

"I vote for option two, ma'am," spoke Lola, bursting into the room. Lucy followed in quietly behind her, chuckling lightly.

Lola was a tall girl, built like an Olympian. Her body screamed 'I can kick your ass so well', but her face was like a puppy's. Her long curly brown and red hair was pulled back into a messy bun, and she was dressed in a Beatles hoodie with a regular pair of jeans and an old pair of Vans.

Lucy was a shorter, pleasantly plump redhead with sky blue eyes and freckles dotting her face. Her thin framed glasses sat on her button nose, and she was dressed in an anime-inspired tee and flared jeans with a pair of black flats.

"Fuck, guys. I finally get a shoot to do after months of waiting and you all show up to possibly ruin it."

"You know you love us," Ange joked and bounced up from the couch, "Plus, this shoot isn't the coolest shoot ever. It's just Hot Topic."

Maggie laughed and shook her head, "Honestly, I wouldn't mind. I think my manager is just using me because of my brother."

"Who wouldn't? You're Nathan Explosion's twin sister."

"Yeah, well, you know my whore of a hairdresser?"

Lola laughed loudly, "The one that tries too hard to be gay?"

At that, Orchid, who had entered the room shortly before that and was drinking a coke, spit her drink all over the trashed furniture in front of her. She then burst into obnoxious yet contagious laughter, and we all joined in.

I quit laughing as if my off button had been pushed and replied, "Yeah, that one."

"What about him?" Angelica asked, leaning against the wall, obviously bored.

"Well I learned general Spanish because of him, and I overheard Jensen talking to him. I'm their treasure, to put it simply. I would love to just quit, but this job is what keeps the five us living in that house. Our home."

Orchid snorted, "That house is trash. No matter what we're pretty much fucked. You're stuck in a fucking rut, Lu only got hired at Burzum's for her giant tits," Lucy blushed deeply at this and looked down, "Lola is basically a stripper," Orchid dodged a pillow from Lola's direction after she said this, "and both Angelica and Lucy can't seem to get their books published. The whole band thing we tried completely failed, because everyone compared us to Dethklok. We're fucked."

Maggie stared into the mirror, pouting. "When you put it that way, this whole ordeal just feels shittier."

Lucy spoke up, "Why don't you talk to Nathan about living arrangements? I'm sure he wouldn't let his own sister star-"

"No," Maggie broke her off, "I'm not begging him for mercy. We can fix this. I know we can."

The other four stared at her with a doubtful look.

"…Stop fuckin' starin' at me."

* * *

**So there's the introduction to my girls. They are all based off of me and my friends. **

**I'm going to be putting them in along with the show, starting after the first episode of the first season. But they don't meet up 'til later on.**

**I used Google translate for the Spanish, so I'm sorry if it's actually incorrect. I don't know a lick of Spanish. **

_"**Fucking bitch deserved it, she's only famous because of her behemoth of a brother."**_

_"**You will not insult her again, no matter what. She is our most precious client. If we lose her, we lose thousands of dollars, which will come straight out of your paycheck."**_

**Reviews are greatly appreciated.**


	2. Hatredy

**Chapter twwoooooo.**

**I've got more than one Metalocalypse idea sitting in my noggin, so I will probably start that one later on. One where my character isn't related to the band by blood or anything like that.**

**I hope you're enjoying, I'm gonna try to throw Dethklok in here this chapter. **

**I just kinda write as I go, rather than have an outline.**

**I'm also switching to First Person POV, rather than Third Person. It's so much easier. Maggie is based off of me, anyways.**

**Maggie and the gang belong to me. I'm adding another character, her name is Sally. Dethklok and other Metalocalypse characters belong to Brendon Small and Tommy Blacha.**

**ENJOY**

* * *

I whipped out a cigarette as I walked out of the small shabby house I lived in with the rest of the girls. I looked up at the cars passing by as I walked further into downtown and lit my cigarette. I let the smoke roll out from my lips as I adjusted my sunglasses.

"Mags, wait!" Angelica ran up to me, panting, "I wanna go with you."

I raised an eyebrow, "You want to join me on my venture to the grocery?"

"Mhm!" Angelica smiled brightly. I chuckled roughly and took a hit from my cig. "Right-o, then."

* * *

"HEY DOUCHE BAGS, COME HELP WITH THE FOOD."

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD," Orchid, Lola, and Lucy bolted downstairs and ran immediately out to help carry.

"Ew, gross, you got steaks," Orchid crinkled her nose in disgust. She was a vegetarian.

"Well, I am quite the carnivore," I laughed.

**RIIIIIING!**

"'Ullo?" I said cheerily into the telephone.

"DUDE, DETHKLOK IS LOOKING INTO COMEDY. WE NEED TO GO TO THIS EVENT. SERIOUSLY," my friend Sally screamed into the phone.

"Sally, calm the fuck down."

"NO, MEET ME AT MAMMY YAKS TONIGHT. THIS WILL BE EPIC. Plus, when was the last time you spoke to Nathan?"

Silence.

"Exactly, you NEED to go. You can't hide from your brother much longer, you guys are twins anyways. You're…. _connected._"

"…Fine." _Click._

"Guys… we're going to Mammy Yaks tonight. Cancel all other plans."

"What, why?" Orchid yelled.

"Because, fuckface, we're going to pay my brother a visit."

Angelica stared at me confused, "What does that have to do with comedy?"

"Apparently Dethklok is taking a dip into the comedy pool."

Everyone sat in silence for a while, until Lola broke the silence. "This'll be entertaining."

* * *

"So what's you are saying is we do ze opposite of bleak and dark?" Toki yelled over the sound of his rifle shots.

"Yeah," Nathan replied, staring at the skull of Buddy Hackett he just bought.

"What's the opposite of tragedy?" Toki yelled again.

Nathan looked up and growled, "COMEEEDYYYYY."

The plane Toki had shot down slowly flew past as it came to crash into the earth in a mass of flames.

* * *

"Snoooooork, snooooooork!" Laughter. _Why is everyone laughing at this shit? This is all shit._ I sat bored, sipping on my alcoholic beverage, being careful not to singe my hair with my cigarette.

"Snorks, really? The fuck is this?" Orchid snorted, obviously upset with modern humor.

"I don't even fucking know, obviously we have a bit of a different sense of humor than the rest of these fucks," Lola sighed and took a puff of her own cigarette.

"Fucking idiots," I stated.

"Just wait for it, I know Dethklok is here." Sally was staring up at the stage with anticipation. Her larger build reminded me of a Viking, but that didn't make her unattractive in any way. Natural dark red curly hair fell to her freckled pale shoulders. She was dressed in a black hoodie with a cut-off black band tee underneath, a pair of rugged Bermuda shorts, and a pair of worn out DC moccasins.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please be gentle, this is their first time on stage. Give it up for the Brothers of Deception!" the announcer called out.

It was at this time that Skwisgaar Skwigelf and Toki Wartooth walked out onto the stage.

My eyes widened. "You weren't kidding…"

"WOOOOO, FUCK YEAH!" Sally screamed.

Skwisgaar and Toki stood awkwardly on stage. "So, I was thinking of killing myself." Skwisgaar began.

"That's funny, I was thinking of killing you, too," Toki countered.

Skwisgaar looked down, "Well… how do you… like…that?" he then began playing his guitar rapidly.

"Mom always hated _you_ most," Toki said.

"Is it just me or do they sound kind of… robotic?" Angelica whispered to me. I nodded in agreement. "They're probably nervous, Ange. And it doesn't help that they have trouble with their English," I replied.

"She hates both of us ze most," Skwisgaar shot back at Toki. Toki took this opportunity to play his guitar, but then he dropped it. "_I hate you…Seriously…_" Toki whispered.

"_Okay,_" Skwisgaar replied.

They walked off stage and our whole table applauded. I noticed Lucy gawking at the blonde Scandinavian. "Hey Lu, see something you enjoy, eh?" I joked, punching her arm.

She jumped and blood immediately rushed to her face as she put her hand over her newly forming bruise, "I don't…don't know what you're talking about."

I raised an eyebrow and laughed aloud, "Whatever you say."

That's when none other than Nathan Explosion walked onto the stage.

"What if your guts was a bowling ball? Well, I bet it would look something like _this._" I was currently staring in slight shock at my brother. There he was, standing on stage, holding a ball-shaped mass of organs.

Lucy looked a tad paler, and Angelica looked away. Sally and I both said at the same time, "Brutal."

Orchid leaned over to me, "Your brother is… strange."

"It's genetic," I replied, chuckling as I lit another cigarette.

We all sat there through the whole show, laughing when no one else would. I laughed louder than the rest when Nathan did the Quanno (I don't know how it's spelled, to be honest) twin joke. I was tempted to raise my hand when he asked if anyone had a twin. I bet no one in the building realized Nathan actually does have a twin; _me._

After Nathan was Pickles and Murderface. They had attempted to do a sketch, but the crowd's lack of brain power didn't seem to comprehend good comedy. They didn't even get to finish their act. I couldn't help but keep my eyes focused on Pickles. I was a big Snakes 'N' Barrels fan back in the day. Plus I had a major fascination with dreadlocks. They got booed off the stage, but our table clapped for them. It freaked me out to see Pickles lying on the stage like that, he looked dead.

I somehow managed to get Sally tipsy enough to get her to leave without her trying to get me to talk to Nathan.

_What a relief._

"So, Mags," Lola whispered to me as we walked, we were in the back of the group while the rest danced about drunkenly in front of us, "Why do you refuse to speak to your own brother?"

I sighed, "I knew someone would ask. To start off, we aren't in some sort of lifelong quarrel or anything. We got along fantastically. He's the older twin, by five minutes, so therefore I looked up to him. Metaphorically and literally, obviously he's quite taller."

Lola laughed and motioned for me to continue, "But anyways, as we grew up, we both were rather rebellious, and I got involved with some people that were pretty bad news. Nathan tried to protect me from them with his brute force and ended up almost killing the guy I claimed to love at the time. I was furious, and we quit talking. By the time we started talking again, we were older, and he was just joining Dethklok. That's when I decided to clean up a tad, or at least mature more. I started working at Duncan Hills, which is where I met you fine people. We kept in slight contact, writing letters and such, but with the more famous he got, the less he wrote. Part of me thinks he hates me for the past. I called him some pretty terrible names."

"Is that how you know the other band members? Nathan's letters?"

I nodded, letting the smoke billow out from my mouth. "He told me about all of them. I had already known of Pickles from Snakes 'N' Barrels, though."

"Hmm," Lola stared out in front of us and hummed. "Did you apologize?"

"Of course I did."

She looked at me with "the look".

"I did!"

"Okay, okay. Well maybe Nathan just doesn't know how to accept an apology. He probably doesn't think it's _metal_. They're coming back every night this week, so maybe you should build up your courage and try to talk to him. If you don't do it yourself, Sally might have to force you. That might not turn out pretty."

I huffed, "Shit. Alright, fine."

And with that, we all entered our humble abode.

* * *

**Hooray for explanations!**

**Review, please.**


	3. Hahaha

**This is not a new chapter, but a response to whoever my anonymous reviewer was.**

"**not to be a witch but your grammer and flow suck"**

**Not to be a fucking cunt, but you can't spell. Also, that's not even a proper sentence.**

**If you're going comment on someone's _grammar_ and flow, maybe you should practice what you fucking preach.**

**I'm sorry if the flow and grammar aren't to your liking, but I'm in a college prep English class with the toughest English teacher I've ever met _and_ I'm in a Publications class. I'm also the Grammar Nazi of my group of friends.**

**I know how to fucking write.**

**Some of the things I do are for emphasis of personality and setting. If you're upset about the breaking up of paragraphs, I do that because I personally _hate_ reading paragraphs at a time when I read. I spread it out. Also, it's for dialogue purposes.**

**That's my writing style, and if you don't enjoy it, kindly fuck off and stop reading it. **

**Sorry for going off. **

**I'm in a terrible mood right now.**

**Sincerely, **

**Becca.**


	4. I'm sorry and thank you

**Alright, to the people that are dogging on me non-stop:**

**I'm sorry the story is predictable in your eyes, but how do you know what I'm really going to do with it?**

**I'm sorry Maggie is an apparent "Mary-Sue", but there seems to be no way to even avoid that, according to everybody's different standards on it. First off, she's the main character. Second off, this is only chapter two, so you don't know how she's fully going to be portrayed. So stop bitching and give me a chance to get the whole fic written.**

**I'm sorry she's a "self-insert". I'm sorry that I like to imagine myself being inside one of my favorite television shows. Is that really unusual? For one thing, I did that on purpose for this one. I even said the characters were based off of me and my friends. That's what I do, I take myself and maybe a friend or two (or more) and we create our own characters and throw ourselves into a movie, etc. That's pretty much 80% of all fan fictions on this site. If you want to read something _not _self-insert, read a fucking book.**

**I'm sorry that the story "sucks" because I didn't create my own plot, but I _wanted_ to have it follow with the episodes. I could have made my own plot, but I'm a writer who enjoys making characters that are added into movies/comics/books/etc. It's as if I'm adding myself into one of my favorite movies or so on. Is it so bad to want to follow the storyline of something? Rather than making something that won't quite make sense after a sequel to said movie or book has come out? That bothers me, I don't know about any of you.**

**I'm sorry that I'm not a professional writer and that my dialogue "sucks", but that's my style. Honestly, there aren't very many fan fictions written in decent dialogue at all. Sure, there are kids younger than I am that have a better imagination when it comes to writing, and kudos to them.**

**I'm sorry I changed point of views after the first chapter. If it makes everybody peachy, I'll go re-write the first chapter so it's all in the same point of view. When I first started writing, I wanted it to be third-person. But as I kept writing, I kept putting "I" instead of "Maggie". So I changed it to make it more comfortable for me to write.**

* * *

**No, I'm not in college. I'm actually a senior in high school.**

**Also, THIS IS A FAN FICTION, not a script for a new episode or something of that sort. Yeah, I made Maggie Nathan's twin, big deal. And there is the possibility that certain people wouldn't know about her. I mentioned in the first chapter that her manager is using her to gain more money _because_ she's Nathan's sister. But that doesn't mean everybody is going to know her. For example, in the episode "Dethfam", where the news team finds their families, no one in the band seemed to know the other band members' families. Plus, the news team had to "uncover" the families, so the boys were obviously trying to hide the fact that their families even exist. Therefore, Nathan could have been doing everything he could to not let the others know about Maggie. Like I said in chapter two, they got in a fight before Nathan joined Dethklok and never fully recovered. I haven't gotten far enough into the story to even show whether Nathan still cares about her or hates her or whatever.**

* * *

**To the so-called "Professor": **

**If you really are one, you wouldn't be typing the way you do, you would be writing like a proper educated person. And you certainly wouldn't be telling me to go fuck myself. Thanks for that, by the way. Oh, and you spelled "diminish" wrong.**

* * *

**Seriously, the whole point of a fan fiction is to have fun with it, to be able to imagine your own character(s) to either add into what's already been done or to create your own plot, and to _enjoy_ reading other people's fics. It's not like these are going to be published, anyways. **

**I hope you're all not only going off on me for these things, because I've read many a fic that has contained everything and more that you all have complained about.**

**And no, I'm not going to delete any of the comments. I like criticism. But criticism isn't flat out saying "Your story sucks ass, go fuck yourself." Have some respect for people.**

* * *

**I apologize for going off the way I did in the last chapter. As I said, I've been in a terrible mood because I just lost someone very close to me. Anyone who has experienced that knows that feeling. I did go overboard with the last chapter, and I realize that. I could've handled that comment differently.**

* * *

**If you'd like to give me a chance to finish the story before you tell me how terrible I am, continue reading.**

**If you're going to keep making me feel terrible without giving me the chance to fix my mistakes and finish the story, I will ignore you from now on.**

**These are supposed to be for fun.**

**Thanks.**

**Becca**


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